An inexpressibly beautiful mess!

An inexpressibly beautiful mess is the only way that I could think to summarize how things are going. Hang with me as I attempt to explain :)

I would be a total fake if I glamorized this summer and only gave one perspective, which I confess I am tempted to do. As my supporters I long to tell you the awesome things that the Lord is doing and how much He is changing lifes but I also long to be real, raw, and upfront with you guys. So please extend me lots of grace as I attempt to really let you guys walk beside me to common ground.

All of the interns are seeing loads of our sin and ways in our lives that don't honor the Lord. We have studied how we should really question and wrestle with how well we know Him if we don't care for the poor as he talks about them in scripture. He continually links them to himself DIRECTLY like in Matthew 25 and demands for a specific life style that makes the poor our neighbors. This has been messing me up in such wonderful ways but let me tell you..it's been HARD!

Time with the kids has been utterly exhausting but SUCH a privilege, joy, and and monumental blessing and grace. We have a total of 120 kids and in my group specifically we have about 16 girls. We break into small groups from this total and in my small group I have about 5-8 consistently show up. Our small groups have been filled with, as we study creation/fall/redemption, confusion...tears..anger..joy..and better understanding. When I say these girls are wrestling with these concepts...they have them in a choke hold for real! Some of the small groups that have really struck me so far is this past week I felt extremely burdened to take a huge chunk of our small group time to just talk about what is REALLY going on in their lives. With ease words and situations were talked about..drugs..guns..yelling & arguing.. no power..gangs. This is their normal. They go home and are around chaotic damaging things. There weren't many dry eyes in that small group time that day. Another small group we were talking through Romans 3:10 "As it is written: "There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God." " and I posed the question "What does this make you think/feel when we live in a word that tells us in essence we are good people and are capable of that?" I had girls LITERALLY jump out of their seats and I heard statements like "WHAT MS. BFREE?! No one...like...NO ONE is good...wait?!?! NO ONE??". True choke holds..they really want to think about these things. The Lord has been smashing walls with the older girls! We have had to have A LOT of hard conversations filled with tension and discipline but the Lord is so great and so sweet! He has used it to really break the ice and allow me to plead with them to let me love them and be in their lives.

Today my heart melted as I walked up to Washington park outside from the building and some of my girls were walking towards me (as I thought they were going to the triangle store aka the candy store to get food) I said "Where are YALL going?" and they said "DUH to meet you Ms. Bfree!!" One of my girls ran up to me and gave me a HUGE hug and then others followed. Uhhh water works!!

Another update that I have neglected is Common Grounds sweet church! We go on Sunday nights at 'the building' (that's what we call the community center we are at 24/7) It has about 40 members with loads of kids running around. It's so sweet to have acoustic worship at the building in the middle of the projects..we are singing out sweet Jesus! The sermons are so down to earth and really challenge you and because it's smaller we get to respond and all talk about it every sunday. After church everyone eats together and we hang out for however long. It's such a privilege to be apart this body of believers!

So..in summary. We are all struggling greatly but the Lord is SO great and SO good! Mostly..he is perfectly committed to the advancement of His kingdom!

Prayer requests: Please pray for all of the kids..that the Lord would protect them and call them to himself at a young age..that these truths would rock their worlds. Pray for the interns as we are all utterly exhausted but long to run hard for the Lord. Pray for me and my patience with the older girls that I would persevere well. Pray for Washington Park area of Montgomery..that this would become a whole part of Montgomery that would stand for Christ and long to see His name magnified.

God is so good in the hood!

Warning! This will be a long one but please read! :)

It's only been a week but it feels longer, in a good way! Our orientation and training gave mind blowing exposure to the beautiful & valuable people on the west side of Montgomery. I can't even begin to tell you what a privilege it has been to be here and come alongside these kids, the community, and staff. Our orientation week consisted of going through the notebooks, first week of camp with the kids, starting our 2 books, going to the civil rights muesum, Dr. Martin Luther Kings church, and the Rosa Parks muesem. It lead to wonderful and hard conversations about issues that are still very very present today. 2 things that have sent shock waves in my life were Ervin and Frog's testimony, you see pictures of Ervin right above in the rocking chair and Frog right above that. Lots of tears shed while they were speaking! Frog grew up here on the west side of Montgomery and joined a gang at the age of 10. He then dropped out of school in 7th grade and continued to be involved in "gang bangs" throughout this area. They would plan and plot robberies and much more. By the age of 15 Frog was put in jail for 4 years and was released at age 19. Frog is naturally a leader so he became top in his gang and everyone listened to him...most people in these neighborhoods feared him. Once he got out of jail the next incident happened at a block party where a guy thought Frog took his money. The situation quickly rose in lots of anger and Frog was shot. Frog was so angry he didn't even want to go to the hospital and he went to find the guy. A week later, Frog found him and shot him back. At this point in his testimony you could hear and see Frogs pain at his life before Christ rocked him..at one point he put his hands over his face and just sighed. After he retaliated he then started to come around Common Ground and would work and hang out with them but still continued to "gang bang". Slowly, over years staff here would have conversations with him and share the gospel. After time the Lord opened Frogs eyes and completely changed him..he no longer desired drugs, he left the gang, he wasn't feared anymore..but a soldier for Christ. Uncle Ervin (it's what he's called and he is also who will be living with us for protection and to push us towards the Lord) had a similar but slightly different testimony. Total, Ervin spent 13 years in prison. They were spread apart but the least was a 5 year sentence. Ervin never joined a gang because he was good friends with all the leaders but he would rob stores and was involved with drugs. Ervin became a believer while he was in jail, isolated with nothing but the word. He said "I knew I was totally different when we were outside playing basketball..a man slapped me..and I had no desire to retaliate." To see the heart of Christ in these men and how loving, gentle, and different they are really shows me how big God is. In the words of a dear friend who is also an intern "After God got ahold of me..i didn't miss it...the addictions to people..alcohol..reputation..I didn't miss it...none of it."
So..on to the kids! I have girls who are 13 and up, we have 11 total and we split them up into small groups on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. It's been a challenge to gain their trust and build relationships with them. 13 is the best age in the world :) I am so grateful for these women and my heart breaks to all they have to deal with at this age..drugs, violence, std's, alcohol, and broken homes. This week we have been studying Psalm 8:1 and creation in Gensis. They have made up a rap to the verse and it's so sweet! One of the girls in my group is a believer and when we were at the zoo last week I asked her what her life looked like before she became a believer and she said "I used to be so bad Mrs. Bfree! I would cuss out adults and other children, disrespectful, and disobedient. Now I just want to live for Christ!" It's been so sweet to see her obedient heart to Christ. Last week her sister wasn't listening to me and she pulled her aside talked to her, rebuked her, and had he apologize to me. It's so sweet to see the radical change!

Things i've been learning..oh goodness to wrap them up and share.. If I were to try to wrap them up right now and share my summer so far it would look like a 2 year old wrapped a christmas present with two left hands. God has been breaking me over A LOT. He has been showing me so much in my life that is not pleasing to him, what it looks like to enable the poor not to just 'treat them' , and how it's mutual exchange..I'm learning so much more from them than I am pouring into their lives..infinitely so! What a privilege it is to be here! The Lord has really been tearing down a lot in my life that's been so painful but so good! I always want to go back to what's true? as I wrestle and repent (turn the other way) of sin. One question that has been resignating in my mind is something BK said in a talk last week "Are you willing to reorient your life? Why are you living comfortably?". How have I made my life in such a way that I pass by the poor, that I don't seek to make everyone my neighbor, that I've somehow justified it that it's ok that I don't pursue the poor. God's word says that if I don't do that then the love of God isn't in me. It has been messing me up but I love it!

Please pray for open doors with the girls. Pray for favor and friendships to be formed. Pray for their hearts to be pierced with the gospel and that they would long for Jesus. Pray for clarity of His word. Pray for the interns that we would get rest and crave nothing else but knowing Jesus and making him known. Pray that we would have wisdom to be self-starters and anticipate any needs around here. Pray for our sweet staff up here that they would get rest and crave nothing else but Jesus as well. Pray for the west side of Montgomery that it would resound with the glory of Jesus. Pray for believers in the world..that we would invest and really build authentic relationships with the "poor".

" The point is simply that, for his own glory God has chosen to reveal his kingdom in the place where the world, in all of it's pride, would least expect it, among the foolish, the weak, the lowly, and the despised." -When helping hurts

"Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow." Isaiah 1:17

"If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:17-18

"Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for a man to humble himself? Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed and for lying on sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord? Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday." Isaiah 58:5-10

I'm here!

Groups of people walking up & down the street..neighborhood tours..hearing stories of specific events that have happened in surrounding neighborhoods..broken glass..areas that are drug infested..run down houses..biblical community..service..deep life-on-life..challenging heart issues beginning to be talked about..these are all things that I've had the priviledge of being exposed to and realities that exist daily on the westside of Montgomery. Words are so inadequate to paint the picture of the wonderful and heart wrentching things that I've had the priviledge to be apart of. One verse that has been stuck in mind these past two days is Psalm 139:13-14 "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful, I know that full well." They are all His..they are fearfully and wonderfully made. What a privilege to be with them!

Once we got here some of the interns were hanging out at the Community Center in the staff offices and so we walked in and got to it..some good ole' bonding! It's so sweet to see the Lord work, it astonishes me! One thing that I prayed specifically for was that we would be a deep rooted and united body..and that's what He is already doing! Not that His will is indictive of what I pray but what an honor and priviledge that He heard and answered! Already there have been hours of conversations where we ask each other hard questions and really get to know each other..it blows me away!

The central place for the kids to come is the Common Ground community center, located smack in the middle of the neighborhoods. The building is a tan building with bright red doors and inside is colorful, fun, and brightly decorated! The staff live in the surrounding neighborhoods amongst the families and the intern house is about 3 blocks from the community center. Uncle Irvin will be living with the interns for safety,"keep us in check" reasons, and we just get the priviledge to live with him! We got to meet him today and I had the opportunity to start to get to know him..he's wonderful! Today, specifically, we took a tour of the surrounding projects and really learned about what life looks like here. Words can't express the grip that this reality has done in my life and will continue to do. It's like the coldest cup of water ever was splashed on my face. This week will be orientation and next week the kids "arrive"! Our schedule once the camp starts everyday will be around 8AM-9PMish which will be hard but so good! We are reading 2 books this summer "Divided by Faith, Evangelical religion and the problem of race in America" and "When helping hurts, how to aleviate poverty without hurting the poor and yourself" I can't wait to dive into these books! We started reading Divided by Faith today and it's a tough read but I want to perservere! We are also studying the book of James. You all..words are so inadequate to be able to communicate the priviledge that it's been to be here for two days.

The names of the interns are Anna-Laura, Dia, Fred, Brittany, Meaghan, Sophia, Red, Chaquanna, Ava, Travis, James, Fred, William, Micah, Tora, and me! Please pray for us, the kids, & staff. Pray for vunerability, accountability, openess to look at issues that may be new to us, wisdom as we invest in these kids, that God would do a tremendous work, and that we would pursue a biblical community. I can't wait to learn first from the Lord and from everyone here..kids included! A phrase we came up with is "It may seem crazy..but it's so right!"

Phew..only 48 hours and I am already being so rocked!

I am so grateful for all of you and I love you all! The pictures are from orientation!

Can't wait to update again!